Inspiration is like a seed that floats wildly and if you can catch it and there is sun and water, it can grow. But it comes as quick as it goes. Many people use pain and negativity as their inspiration. It’s a little bit like jumbo shrimp though. Inspire me with darkess, I’ve never heard of such a thing. Yes, pain and loneliness is a working muse, but love and happiness is an even better one because it allows you to use all feelings. For once you have love and happiness, the pain and loneliness loses it’s scariness. You can look at it, and write about it and feel it and go there with it and know that when you come back up you’ll be back in the Light. Kind of like walking into a Haunted House but knowing you’re at carnival and it’s not real. But when you’re not in the Light one spends there time avoiding the pain, running from it, because it’s dark everywhere, no matter where you turn.
Why don’t more people strive to be happy? Instead of striving to not feel sad? Don’t they know? The energy put into not feeling pain is more painful than pain itself. Once you look at it, it doesn’t hurt anymore. Ouch and it’s over.
June 19, 2007 at 9:18 pm · Filed under Music, My Music
To me it’s all the same. Writing. Music. Film. Writing music. Writing films. Singing. Acting. Directing. It’s all connected very intricately for each is each other’s inspiration. Riding a wave of creativity and it’s unlimited where you can go if you allow it to. One thing leads to another. The mind is the only obstacle and the fear of impossibility that is created in one’s mind. I don’t remember when the day was. But there was one day when I decided that fear wasn’t mine.
I’ve got way too many old jazz tunes stored in this brain of mine and the following song I created based on the sound of the music…very naturally the lyric came after I heard the sound of the piano. There’s parts of it that are a little rough, but I kinda like that. The first take is often the most raw and quite often the best. Kind of like the unrehearsed voicemail you leave vs. the button that lets you erase and rerecord till you don’t even want to leave the voicemail anymore.
I recorded the following song in Dec of 2006. The lyrics are from three different songs: Fever, made famous by Peggy Lee. Baby Won’t You Please Come Home – Dinah Shore, Sam Cooke, Ray Charles etc. And the last one is Goody Goody – Peggy Lee, Frank Sinatra both did excellent versions.
So believe it or not I didn’t plan what I was going to sing – I just started recording and this was totally improvised. It came out naturally as I recorded it and I just went with my instincts. Usually even with a letter I write, I don’t realize where I’m going with it but somehow like pieces in a puzzle it eventually shows it’s truth and meaning by the end. With a little bow on top. Anyhow, at first the song starts with Fever, which is about the beginning of a relationship and the excitement associated with it. The second song, Baby Won’t You Please Come Home, doesn’t really require all that much of an explanation. The dudes gone and I want him back. I’m bummed. But it’s still not over for me. Then the last song is Goody Goody – which is a revenge song. Where it’s about how he screwed me over and now he’s been screwed over by someone else and Goody Goody for me. The last part isn’t really true to how I operate. I would say these days I’m above the need for vindication. Somewhere along the line in my journey I guess up picked up compassion.
And from those three songs…..”The Beginning, The Middle, and The End” was created. A medley my way.
^^^ this is what I look like after spending hours in front of my computer writing films that will make your lives more technicolor and approaching craziness from being alone so long. So basically this is what an insane person resembles.
^^^ this is what I look when it’s my birthday and I have a little junk in my trunk. Right now that junk is gone but don’t hold your breath. The junk likes my trunk.
^^^ this is what I look like when I am doing whatever I’m doing. Shooting a porno? I don’t know. Maybe.
^^^ this is what i look like if you’re looking at me from the top of my head (amazing isn’t it?).
^^^ this is what i look like with my very dear friend, the wonderfully talented, chef extraordinaire, Max Leroy…RIP…I seriously miss you.
